Goodbye Oakland

Seaside Baptist Church. Oakland,ca 2013

     I found this picture on my phone, the girls had taken it one Sunday morning.. I look and see our last month in Oakland as Seaside Baptist Church.  I see the many days of empty seats and no converts. I see a preacher who cries out and says" is this it?". I see my pastor and husband waiting at the door wondering if they are going to show up today, do we start without them? I think of the hundreds of thousands who have been in our place. Did we fail? Did we fully trust God? Did we give our all?   We waited, prayed, fasted for 8 years for this and now it is finished. Just like that. Was I sad, maybe confused, then I thought no, God is not the author of confusion. I Corinthians 4:13 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints. 
     I am always behind my husband and this time it was a bit different. It was harder to say ok. I prayed and asked God to help me be his helpmeet now more then ever. He was ready and I was not.  I believe this was a test for me. It wasn't about what others would say about us, it was more about me thinking I was not ready to move on.  God knew, there were many trials there for me,many health ones.  I think He had given what I could handle.
      We did what God wanted and now it is time to do the next chapter. I cannot keep looking and dwelling on the past and the what ifs. Oakland was pretty tough and at times even scary.We met many new friends and God did use us many times. At the end of our journey as would drive or go to the park I thought,"They did not deny The Robinson Family and Seaside Baptist Church, they denied you Lord". 

Alameda beach.